My Life 201

This is the introduction to a story still in the making. I can't wait to see what God is going to do. On April 24, 2023, I received a huge shock: I was let go from my "dream job". Even with its challenges, I thought I would retire from this company. I loved the people and the job itself. I never saw it coming and it really threw me. With shakeups at the executive level came an increased focus on budget and a different approach to the business model and way of doing things. I did not get a severance package and lost my 50 hours of PTO. Then on top of it, I didn't get paid for unemployment because "they" claimed no wages were reported for me for 2022. In spite of me sending in my W-2 forms and filing weekly claims, I have yet to receive a dime from unemployment. (I've been trying to appeal but haven't had any luck getting any communication from the unemployment office) Fortunately, I had enough money in savings to last me a few months if I was ...

I was talking with a dear friend recently and as we were both reflecting on where we've come from, I shared with her that ~20 years ago, I was a shy, meek, scared woman with no self-esteem. That version of me feels like an entire lifetime and completely different person ago. Today I am stronger, more confident, more outgoing and surer of myself. Most of the time. What happened? Well, I was a shy, loner child and teen with few friends and no self-esteem at all. I was a plain Jane who never got noticed. But inside, I begged to be noticed. I spent so many hours alone in my bedroom in my own little fantasy land. As a young teen, I isolated away in my room, listening to records and lip syncing and dancing and reading teen girl magazines with posters of Shaun Cassidy, The Bee Gees and other teen idols on my walls, while fantasizing about my life as a rock star. Then I was in a marriage for 16 years where I later realized that my husband had been very emotionally and at times v...

2019 has had a bit of a rough start for me some would say. Recently, a well meaning person said "I'm so sorry to hear of all your misfortunes" .  That struck me because, in spite of some setbacks, I truly don't feel I'm the victim of misfortune. No, I'm not a " Pollyanna". I have my down days. But I have decided in recent years to do my best to have a positive outlook and accept difficulties as opportunities and look for the blessings. This is not easy and doesn't always come naturally. It takes practice and sometimes it works and sometimes, not so much. So, let's start with what has happened in these first few months of this new year. 1.   On Feb. 17th, I suffered a broken ankle.  I was participating in a special "ladies only" motorcycle slow skills practice event. This had been planned for months and was, I believe, the first of it's kind in this area. I had been so excited and looking forward to it. For a motorcycl...

So, a friend recently pointed out to me that I have now been divorced longer than I was married. When I got divorced I remember adamantly telling my friends I would be remarried within a year. And then I went out and hit the bars and dating sites hard. Because I HAD to be married. I was naive, broken and had almost no self esteem.  I was in a roller coaster marriage for 16 years. Alcohol, drugs, chronic unemployment,  some verbal abuse, some sexual abuse near the end and finally infidelity. No, I wouldn't change my decision. I loved him, stuck to my vows until the infidelity and my past experiences shaped me into who I am now. I've now been officially divorced for almost 18 years. Time flies. And through this single phase of my life I have had to battle the stigma of being "so long divorced". The endless questions about "How's your love life?"  " Are you dating?"   "Any men in your life?" "Why can't you find a husband?...

The trip I planned for months in minute detail ,watched almost a bazillion YouTube videos of the route I would be taking and stressed over riding The Hog's Back has come to a successful conclusion. Of course, things did not go exactly as I planned. How dare Mother Nature mess up my detailed planning!  LOL.  Unexpected things and plan adaptations make for an adventure and stories to tell. I traveled solo on my 2016 Harley Davidson Heritage Classic motorcycle for 8 days. 1587 miles total. Seemingly constantly assessing the weather and outrunning the rain and storms, using all of my warm and cold weather gear and finally ending with a 534 mile ride home in one day. I arrived home exhausted, sore and exhilarated. In spite of rain and adapting plans, I got to do pretty much everything I wanted. I did not get to hike in Bryce Canyon, but that was ok. It was my 3rd trip there and I've hiked it before. Also didn't get to hike in Capital Reef national park due t...

July 2005 - In spite of being taught to be terrified of motorcycles my whole life, I found myself thoroughly enjoying being a passenger on the back of John's souped up Goldwing motorcycle as he took me on a tour through Southeast Utah.   Sitting on the back   of that bright orange bike in the lime green Kevlar suit he provided, in a seat almost as comfortable as a Lazy Boy, I felt a freedom and exhilaration I had never experienced. After camping in Zion National park, we rode up to Bryce Canyon, then across the famous scenic Highway 12, through Torrey, Utah and down through Monument Valley   to home. The scenery was beyond describable. As I experienced that 1254 mile trip, I never in my wildest dreams thought that I would ever ride with anyone else on a motorcycle and I certainly could not have been convinced that one day I would ride my own Harley Davidson motorcycle on a solo trip along this same route. John was very safety conscious and he wanted to ...

My Mom was very afraid of motorcycles and although my Dad always wanted one, Mom would not allow it. They were too dangerous. You would surely be killed or maimed. So I was afraid of them too and never ever in a million years would imagine myself getting on one.  When my Dad finally got a motorcycle long after the divorce, I thought he was crazy and I worried. I didn't get it. And when he took off on that motorcycle on a trip across half the country I really thought he was nuts. Why would you expose yourself to that risk and how on earth could it be enjoyable?   Well............ fast forward a few years to 2005. I met John and we developed a serious relationship. John was a retired Firefighter and extremely safety conscious. During our relationship he bought a used Goldwing motorcycle. This was like the Cadillac of bikes. He had it set up with all the comforts and extra safety features. I was, of course, afraid. But I was also intrigued. He was so smart, focused and ded...

I was reading a friend's Blog the other day and discovered that the Blog I started back in 2008 is still here.  I haven't posted since 2012.  Well, I got into Facebook and I'm very open on there, so this fell by the wayside. I do love to write and I'm very open about my life. I know often when I write, I write lengthy posts, that people may not even bother to read.  I'd like to think that at least some of my writings interest other people, but these are mostly for myself. It was good to read my earlier posts and revisit what was going on in my life and head in 2008. So much has happened. Some struggles, which is just life , but mostly a lot of really good stuff and major blessings from God . Highlights: Worked my way from Supervisor to Manager. Resolved financial struggles and live pretty comfortably now My 3 furkids (Chinsir, Keisha and MeToo) are all gone now and now I have 2 boys- Taishi and Chintu Solid friendships continue and new ones formed. Strug...

Sometimes life throws us curves and fastballs and ya can only laugh and share the story with those you love................. Notice the * I decided on Tuesday that I needed to get out camping/hiking/biking in the cool pines of NE Arizona. Thursday was crazy stressful at work and I felt beat up and couldn't wait to get out. I was going camping come hell or high water..............well............... So I took Friday off work and headed to Woods Canyon Lake. Yes, I knew the weather forecast called for scattered T-storms. Very typical. So I was prepared to get rained on and perhaps spend hours in my tent reading. I bought tent waterproof spray, hoping I could get it applied and dried before the rain hit. I looked forward to hearing the rain and catching up on some good reads. The campground was full, so I got on the wait list and waited at the entrance for about an hour before I was assigned a campsite. Thus I had no choice in which site I got. Fine, no such thing as a bad s...

Well, today I am 45 yrs. young. Nothing exciting planned for today, and that is fine. I'm doing today my way. I fixed myself a good breakfast, which is very rare for me: broccoli cheddar omelet ( using reduced fat cheese) and a lite whole wheat english muffin. I shared some of my omelet with the furkids, of course. I am going to go for a hike at South Mountain. I have been looking forward to this time to hike all week. I need to get outdoors. I decided I am not going to sit around this year and wait for soe guy to come along to take me hiking and camping. I will just go by myself. I'm going to take either the Beverly Canyon trail or the Javelina Canyon trail. It's a gorgeous perfect day and I can't wait to get out there. So, off I go.

Well, I'm back on here after a week of sickness and trying to spend time with Dad. Tonight was interesting. I went to the open house reception of a friend ( who started out as the friend of a friend) who got married. And here's the kicker: I dated and was almost engaged to her ex-husband before I got to know Diane. Yeah, met up with Jim shortly after my divorce in August 2001. I thought I was all healed and ready to move on. Jim and I connected very fast and soon were talking marriage, shopping for a house and he sent me shopping for an engagement ring. He told me all these horrible things about his ex-wife, Diane. Then, Jim went weird. We broke up. He broke my heart. Keith made me angry and sad, but Jim truly broke my heart, like no other. Then I met his ex-wife, through my friend Karen. It was weird at first and we both agreed to just be civil to each other, for the sake our mutual freindship with Karen. It's been over 7 years now. Diane and I and her fiance'/ n...

Ok, so I had a random thought that has always been there but never really realized. How's this for weird but true: Have you ever gone to use the restroom at someone else's home only to discover that there is not enough toilet paper left, and you don't know what to do? Do you open doors and try to find some? Is there kleenex or paper towels around? Not likely. It's a real quandry. This has happened to me too many times. Thus I make sure that when I have guests, I set out an extra roll in plain sight, just in case. hee hee. You know you know what I'm talking about but don't want to admit. Pretty awkward to holler through the door to your host " Hey!!! I need more toilet paper! Where is it in here?!" Or worse yet, when you try to find some in places you'd expect it to be and there is none. What now? What would Miss Manners say?

Gee, it's been a little bit since I wrote in my "journal" here. Been really busy. I feel like, for the most part, I'm riding on top of the world. It's just a peace inside and a renewal. BW: the reason for the existence of this blog is not to entertain other people. It's for my own journal, and so I have a record to look back on. If those I gave access to want to read this, it's up to them. I've gotten back into a regular workout routine. I use my hour lunch break at work to go to the onsite gym. I do circuit weight training 3 times a week and treadmill and bike twice a week. Then I come home and get on the treadmill here at my apartment complex. ( most days) Getting stronger. Still a ways to go, but it's a good start. Was tough getting back into a regular routine. My clothes are already fitting better. I dropped a pant size in my business slacks. ( Thankfully I have 3 sizes in my closet! ) And my jeans are comfortable now, I don't feel lik...

So, I am just thinking outloud through my fingers here. Saturday morning, a beautiful crisp morning. Got some praise songs playing and looking forward to a great weekend in the renewed me. This last week at work had a lot of stress points, but we got through it. And I know for a fact that I was able to stay positive, calm, and still have some laughs because of my God and how he works in me all the time. I saw many little blessings this week, not just in my life but in those around me that I've been praying for. This week at Bible study I learned of a nice long walking path near me that I didn't know about. So I am going for a nice long walk in the sunshine today when it warms up a bit. I did get on the treadmill 3 times this week and did a workout on the weight machines. Still sore, but that is a good sign. I AM going to slim down, tone up and get back into that hiking shape that I let gradually slip away the last year and half.

Well, another good day. I'm actually a little surprised, pleasantly, at how I feel and how productive I have been the past 5 days. Although work has had some stresses, I have handled them well, my boss is very happy with me, we are on the same page. Yet despite the stress, my mood has been very good and positive. I've had 4 nights of good sleep finally. Getting to bed on time, sleeping through the night, and therefore not having such a problem getting out of bed in the morning. I've actually been getting up 10 minutes earlier with only 1 hit of the snooze button! LOL. I'm getting so much done in the evening when I get home from work. Feeling a great sense of accomplishment and hope as I take care of longtime stressor. Well, my furkids are trying very hard to convince me that they are starving and must have a treat right this second. In spite of having dinner an hour ago. MeToo is whining, and stomping her feet, and the other two are just sitting starting, letting h...

Ok, this won't mean much to anyone but me and a couple special people in my life. I'm writing this for me. I went to bed at a decent hour last night, slept fairly well and got up by 7:00. I feel better than I have in a long time. I actually made myself breakfast: broccoli cheese omelet and toast. I did all the laundry, including putting it away. That is something because I hate folding laundry. But I did. There is nothing in the laundry basket now. I emptied the dishwasher. I've been lazy about that. I don't know why those 2 chores are so difficult for me. They aren't difficult, nor time consuming. I just don't like it. I took the dogs for a nice walk and then........I went down to the fitness center and did 30 minutes on the treadmill!!!! And I read my new daily devotional. In fact, it was so good I read 11 days worth! Now I am going to a friend's house to help put away Christmas decorations and just hang out. No lying around in bed being a hermit today. ...

The following are not my words. I am copying exerpts from a book I will tell you about at the end. (I added just a couple words of my own in a couple spots. ) I found this section today to be so true and encouraging: "Thank you my gracious God that in your gracious plan to bless me and use me, you've allowed me to go through hard times, through trials that many people go through in this fallen world. How glad I am that you're so good at reaching down and making something beautiful out of even the worst situations! ...I praise you that the things that happened in my past, both enjoyable and painful, are raw materials for blessings, both in my life and in the lives of others. ...I thank you for the things in my past that appear to be limitations, hindrances, bad breaks...the wounds of old hurts, the unmet emotional needs, the mistakes or neglect of other people...even their cruelty to me, their abuse. How comforting to know that in all my distresses, you were distressed. A...