Misfortunes or Miracles?
So, let's start with what has happened in these first few months of this new year.
1. On Feb. 17th, I suffered a broken ankle. I was participating in a special "ladies only" motorcycle slow skills practice event. This had been planned for months and was, I believe, the first of it's kind in this area. I had been so excited and looking forward to it. For a motorcycle rider, mastering slow speed maneuvers is much harder and requires more skill and lots of practice than running down a highway at 70mph. For these practice events, orange cones are used to set up exercise patterns with precision measuring by a team of expert riders and/or rider coaches. Now, it is common, and somewhat expected, that riders will drop their bike at some point while practicing. Even the pros do sometimes. It's usually a very slow tip-over and one just hops out of the way and lets the bike drop slowly and the engine guards catch and protect the bike from damage. Then one gets up and gets back on and tries again.
On this day, I was battling a head cold and woke up feeling lousy, but I had been so looking forward to this event and doing it with friends. So I told myself to "suck it up", pull up my big girl panties and go. In hindsight, I probably should have stayed home in bed.
I was doing pretty well out there and although I was getting tired, I decided to give this one challenging exercise one more try. Coming out of a 360 circle, I found myself suddenly falling over to the right and landing face down on the pavement with my bike on top of my leg. It happened so fast and this time, there was no opportunity to just "step off the bike". As it happened, I instantly felt my right ankle being crushed. As I lay on the pavement , face down ( helmet on), trying to get over the shock of what just happened and figure out where I was and wait for help, I had the sensation that my foot was completely turned around. It wasn't, but I was afraid to look, because I felt like my foot had perhaps been ripped off. It was not. In those moments I was very mad at myself and assumed I had torn the ligaments by twisting the ankle, as I had done 3 years ago and would require months of rehab. The thought of being "down" for weeks or months was making me very upset. It turned out the ankle was broken, but not displaced. So this was a good thing. Much better than if I had twisted it and torn ligaments or the fracture was displaced.
So, while not happy about the injury, I was very happy that it wasn't worse and that I would not need surgery. So, I tried to focus on those thoughts more than how I was going to deal with a broken ankle. And yet, over the next couple of days and after being put in a cast up to my knee and told absolutely no weight on it, I was pretty angry and upset. I don't have time for this!!! And while I have good insurance, I also have a high deductible plan and I wasn't done paying for last years deductible.
How was I going to get to and from work if I can't drive? How was I going to get around the huge work building? Sure there was Uber and Lyft, but how was I going to be able to afford that for the next 6-8 weeks? And then, trying to get things done at home, basic household chores, caring for the dogs, even fixing food, was a challenge on crutches. Can't even carry a glass of water across the room. Those first couple days were not my positive outlook days.
And then, here it comes - the unexpected blessings that began to unfold and the clear way that showed that God was taking care of me, beyond what I could have planned for myself. I began to lean more into the positive outlook and rather than complain, thanked God every day for taking care of me, for letting this injury not be any worse, and asking Him to take care of me.
I don't care how slow you are going, if a 870lb motorcycle falls on any part of your body; there is a LOT of potential for serious damage. I was very lucky.
So, now for the blessings: my neighbors stepped up and helped me the first couple days and drove me to and from the doctor. Friends stepped up and offered all kinds of help. Friends came by to visit me.
My dog sitter ended up moving in with me and became my driver, house keeper and partial care giver. I only asked her to stay with me and drive me to and from work and around and some light housekeeping. She took it upon herself to make herself busy fixing up my yard, walking the dogs daily, fixing meals, doing household chores. And although I was very worried about having to share my home with someone after living alone for over 17 years, we got along well and she didn't get in my way. We became friends and had some good conversations, laughs and enjoyed watching some movies and shows together,and went to church. She stayed 5 weeks. When I was able to walk ( with a boot) she left and I actually missed her company a bit.
It turned out to be a blessing for both of us. She said she really enjoyed staying at my place and felt comfortable and at home.
So at the end of 6 weeks, I was really looking forward to getting the all clear from the doctor so I could start riding my ElliptiGo bike again and get back in shape. I got back on the motorcycle for a couple of short local rides.
and then, # 2 happened.
2. I am unable to discuss detail publicly, but I sustained an injury to my right leg (same as the broken ankle) as the result of being hit by another motorcycle. It was a true accident and the other party feels badly enough. When this happened, at impact, I was in shock and confused because what I felt made no sense. But, I was somehow able to keep the bike up and maneuver it across 4 lanes of traffic and park it before collapsing. There was a lot of blood coming through my jeans and up out of my boot. The pain was worse than anything I had ever experienced before, including broken bones. In the ambulance, as they administered Fentynal via IV and radioed ahead to the hospital to prep for trauma surgery for a compound fracture. I admit: I was swearing and really upset at the thought of surgery and the downstream impacts. I just could NOT be "down" for weeks and months nor end up permanently scarred with a deformed leg like my Dad had.
Well, cut to the good news: When they took my boot off, there was no bone sticking out, to the surprise of all around. And then, per x-ray , no broken bones. No surgery!!! I can't tell you the relief that washed over me.
After I got home and had a chance to reflect I, once again, saw God's protection and blessing at work. I had been wearing my new armored boots which I know saved me from a new or re-broken ankle bone. I didn't go down on the bike, which could have been really bad. And the other person was not injured.
So, although not happy, I was very relieved that this new "down time" would be relatively short and I was able to walk with the help of a cane.
When you realize how things could have been and how so much worse your situation could have been, it becomes almost impossible to be negative and downcast.
3. But wait! There's more! 4 days after that accident I was let go from my job. I wasn't totally surprised and had been unhappy for some time, but was hoping to leave on my own after securing another job. Well dangit! I immediately figured I would have to dip into my 401K which would be very costly and have financial consequences. And yet, the almost instant relief of the stress I had been under was such a welcome. It was hard to be upset, other than worrying about my pride and reputation. I have been through severe financial distress before, so I figured at least with the 401K I was better off than with nothing. But then, I got a decent severance package, complete with continuing benefits and career transition service. So I must say, the company at least did right by me that way.
I decided to take advantage of the time and de-stress, travel, rejuvenate for a month or two. I was able to take 2 almost back to back epic motorcycle trips. I took day trips, took care of myself and really enjoyed the "me" time. There were so many other good things that came of that, that I was actually grateful for being let go.
I thanked God and for the most part, gave thanks daily. I did have some days where I was in kind of a pity party and worrying. But I allowed myself just a few days of that and then it was time to pick myself up and move forward.
Then I received a completely unexpected financial blessing. I mean, this was huge! I had forgotten that I was still paying for supplemental accident insurance. When I discovered this, I submitted claims for the broken ankle and the leg injury. I received a pay out of over $8,000. When I saw this online, I thought it was a mistake or I wasn't reading something right. But when I saw the deposit in my account, I fell to my knees and bawled tears of joy and gratitude to God. I truly never saw that coming. Then, if that weren't enough, one week later, I received another unexpected windfall even larger than that amount. I was overwhelmed with emotion. How could this be? But it was true. I did not have to dip into my 401K and I was able to pay off some debt and continue to live without a job.
I give all glory to God. None of this was my doing.
Up until this point, I had put in some job applications but was not being very aggressive about finding a job. But, alas, I started to get restless and knew it was time to go back to work, and I didn't want to spend all that money on living expenses.
And BAM!!! Yet another blessing!!! I came back from my second trip to an interview request.
From there, it went sooooo well and I knew in my gut that I had this job and it was where I was meant to be. And so it came to be.
I just completed my first week at my new job and I'm pumped, excited, rejuvenated, and feel this is going to be a long term thing and that finally, all of my professional experience has come together to put me in the right place, with the right company, the right people, at the right time. IF for some reason, it turns out different, then I know He who holds my future and I have peace because of that.
I consider all of this a miracle. I was in a job that had not turned out to be what I had hoped and I was depressed, stressed and being mistreated and verbally abused by a co-worker, and yet, I stayed, hoping something would change. So the Lord took over and took me out of that situation and renewed me. What the devil planned for evil, the Lord turned around for GOOD! And to the persons who wronged me, HA!! God protected me and set me on even higher ground as a result.
Everything happens for a reason.
I am sharing this because I believe with all of my heart that the Lord God cares for me and has delivered me from so much and I MUST give HIM the credit. There is no way I can not.
I am just a normal person with faults and I screw up. Yet HE has shown grace and mercy on me over rand over and over again.
I share all of these details in hopes that my experiences may provide some hope and encouragement to others going through difficult times. Really, I am not special. I'm just a child of God that tries to live a good life and most of all, be grateful, look for the silver lining and share my hope and faith with others.
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-P