My Life 201

I was talking with a dear friend recently and as we were both reflecting on where we've come from, I shared with her that ~20 years ago, I was a shy, meek, scared woman with no self-esteem. That version of me feels like an entire lifetime and completely different person ago. Today I am stronger, more confident, more outgoing and surer of myself. Most of the time. What happened? Well, I was a shy, loner child and teen with few friends and no self-esteem at all. I was a plain Jane who never got noticed. But inside, I begged to be noticed. I spent so many hours alone in my bedroom in my own little fantasy land. As a young teen, I isolated away in my room, listening to records and lip syncing and dancing and reading teen girl magazines with posters of Shaun Cassidy, The Bee Gees and other teen idols on my walls, while fantasizing about my life as a rock star. Then I was in a marriage for 16 years where I later realized that my husband had been very emotionally and at times v

2019 has had a bit of a rough start for me some would say. Recently, a well meaning person said "I'm so sorry to hear of all your misfortunes" .  That struck me because, in spite of some setbacks, I truly don't feel I'm the victim of misfortune. No, I'm not a " Pollyanna". I have my down days. But I have decided in recent years to do my best to have a positive outlook and accept difficulties as opportunities and look for the blessings. This is not easy and doesn't always come naturally. It takes practice and sometimes it works and sometimes, not so much. So, let's start with what has happened in these first few months of this new year. 1.   On Feb. 17th, I suffered a broken ankle.  I was participating in a special "ladies only" motorcycle slow skills practice event. This had been planned for months and was, I believe, the first of it's kind in this area. I had been so excited and looking forward to it. For a motorcycl

So, a friend recently pointed out to me that I have now been divorced longer than I was married. When I got divorced I remember adamantly telling my friends I would be remarried within a year. And then I went out and hit the bars and dating sites hard. Because I HAD to be married. I was naive, broken and had almost no self esteem.  I was in a roller coaster marriage for 16 years. Alcohol, drugs, chronic unemployment,  some verbal abuse, some sexual abuse near the end and finally infidelity. No, I wouldn't change my decision. I loved him, stuck to my vows until the infidelity and my past experiences shaped me into who I am now. I've now been officially divorced for almost 18 years. Time flies. And through this single phase of my life I have had to battle the stigma of being "so long divorced". The endless questions about "How's your love life?"  " Are you dating?"   "Any men in your life?" "Why can't you find a husband?"

The trip I planned for months in minute detail ,watched almost a bazillion YouTube videos of the route I would be taking and stressed over riding The Hog's Back has come to a successful conclusion. Of course, things did not go exactly as I planned. How dare Mother Nature mess up my detailed planning!  LOL.  Unexpected things and plan adaptations make for an adventure and stories to tell. I traveled solo on my 2016 Harley Davidson Heritage Classic motorcycle for 8 days. 1587 miles total. Seemingly constantly assessing the weather and outrunning the rain and storms, using all of my warm and cold weather gear and finally ending with a 534 mile ride home in one day. I arrived home exhausted, sore and exhilarated. In spite of rain and adapting plans, I got to do pretty much everything I wanted. I did not get to hike in Bryce Canyon, but that was ok. It was my 3rd trip there and I've hiked it before. Also didn't get to hike in Capital Reef national park due t

July 2005 - In spite of being taught to be terrified of motorcycles my whole life, I found myself thoroughly enjoying being a passenger on the back of John's souped up Goldwing motorcycle as he took me on a tour through Southeast Utah.   Sitting on the back   of that bright orange bike in the lime green Kevlar suit he provided, in a seat almost as comfortable as a Lazy Boy, I felt a freedom and exhilaration I had never experienced. After camping in Zion National park, we rode up to Bryce Canyon, then across the famous scenic Highway 12, through Torrey, Utah and down through Monument Valley   to home. The scenery was beyond describable. As I experienced that 1254 mile trip, I never in my wildest dreams thought that I would ever ride with anyone else on a motorcycle and I certainly could not have been convinced that one day I would ride my own Harley Davidson motorcycle on a solo trip along this same route. John was very safety conscious and he wanted to make sure

My Mom was very afraid of motorcycles and although my Dad always wanted one, Mom would not allow it. They were too dangerous. You would surely be killed or maimed. So I was afraid of them too and never ever in a million years would imagine myself getting on one.  When my Dad finally got a motorcycle long after the divorce, I thought he was crazy and I worried. I didn't get it. And when he took off on that motorcycle on a trip across half the country I really thought he was nuts. Why would you expose yourself to that risk and how on earth could it be enjoyable?   Well............ fast forward a few years to 2005. I met John and we developed a serious relationship. John was a retired Firefighter and extremely safety conscious. During our relationship he bought a used Goldwing motorcycle. This was like the Cadillac of bikes. He had it set up with all the comforts and extra safety features. I was, of course, afraid. But I was also intrigued. He was so smart, focused and dedicated to

I was reading a friend's Blog the other day and discovered that the Blog I started back in 2008 is still here.  I haven't posted since 2012.  Well, I got into Facebook and I'm very open on there, so this fell by the wayside. I do love to write and I'm very open about my life. I know often when I write, I write lengthy posts, that people may not even bother to read.  I'd like to think that at least some of my writings interest other people, but these are mostly for myself. It was good to read my earlier posts and revisit what was going on in my life and head in 2008. So much has happened. Some struggles, which is just life , but mostly a lot of really good stuff and major blessings from God . Highlights: Worked my way from Supervisor to Manager. Resolved financial struggles and live pretty comfortably now My 3 furkids (Chinsir, Keisha and MeToo) are all gone now and now I have 2 boys- Taishi and Chintu Solid friendships continue and new ones formed. Strug

Sometimes life throws us curves and fastballs and ya can only laugh and share the story with those you love................. Notice the * I decided on Tuesday that I needed to get out camping/hiking/biking in the cool pines of NE Arizona. Thursday was crazy stressful at work and I felt beat up and couldn't wait to get out. I was going camping come hell or high water..............well............... So I took Friday off work and headed to Woods Canyon Lake. Yes, I knew the weather forecast called for scattered T-storms. Very typical. So I was prepared to get rained on and perhaps spend hours in my tent reading. I bought tent waterproof spray, hoping I could get it applied and dried before the rain hit. I looked forward to hearing the rain and catching up on some good reads. The campground was full, so I got on the wait list and waited at the entrance for about an hour before I was assigned a campsite. Thus I had no choice in which site I got. Fine, no such thing as a bad s

Well, today I am 45 yrs. young. Nothing exciting planned for today, and that is fine. I'm doing today my way. I fixed myself a good breakfast, which is very rare for me: broccoli cheddar omelet ( using reduced fat cheese) and a lite whole wheat english muffin. I shared some of my omelet with the furkids, of course. I am going to go for a hike at South Mountain. I have been looking forward to this time to hike all week. I need to get outdoors. I decided I am not going to sit around this year and wait for soe guy to come along to take me hiking and camping. I will just go by myself. I'm going to take either the Beverly Canyon trail or the Javelina Canyon trail. It's a gorgeous perfect day and I can't wait to get out there. So, off I go.