It's about Relationships
Relationships. 1/1/2008
Ok, so here I sit in a reflective mode. Why we seem to be more reflective at the end of a calendar year, I don't know. Couldn't we just make any date the start of a new year? Funny how we put emphasis on certain dates.
Well, so be it. Everyone tends to approach each New Year with hopes, resolutions, reflections. Usually, it's a few days of such sentiments and then life gets in the way and we fall into our usual patterns. Does that mean we should give up on hopes for the new year? No. Absolutely not. Whether we find ourselves reflecting and thoughtful on Jan. 1 or on some other date in the year does not matter. The fact that we do is what matters.
As I move into another year, like everyone else, I have thoughts, emotions, dreams and goals. I do feel more hopeful going into 2008 than I have in awhile.
Some people can't wait for the new year to start because they've had a crappy year and they just want it to be over, and they want a new start. I've been there many times. Like January 1 is going to just wipe out all the bad and everything starts new. Kind of like how we feel the same way the day after our birthday as the day before.
What about those times when the year was overall good, and yet we feel renewal at a fresh new year? That is where I find myself now and it is a bit surprising to me. And I welcome it.
So many aspects of life to reflect upon. I won't go into all of that. ( Lord knows this will be long enough. ) But, for myself, I would like to put into words some thoughts. Read on if you wish.
Ok, so ya know some people just have crappy luck and drama in their lives. I think that is all in perspective. I think we all have that . Everyone has a dysfunctional family, everyone has drama, everyone has setbacks. It's how we use it, what we do with it that determines our fate and attitude.
One day last year I sat down at my computer and wrote down all the challenges and sad events in my life that I could remember. I did it so I could show what things I could then use to relate to and help other people as they experienced similar issues. It was not a depressing exercise, it was uplifting as I saw how God used each trial to lift me up and bring me to a new point. And as I wrote them, on their face value, they looked like a life of tragedy and depression. But I do not consider my life that. I consider my brief life as a blessing. Miracle and blessings abound. My English teacher used to always tells us that suffering builds character and we hated to hear that because it meant he was about to throw another massive assignment on us. But ya know what, like the apostle Paul, he was right. While I do not welcome suffering, I do recognize that if we use those experiences to learn and grow, then yes, it does build character. Or at least it shows us how to not be so stupid going forward. A life without challenges and where everyone agrees would be very boring and unfulfilling.
Ok, so relationships. That's what life is about. It's not about our jobs, our social status, our wealth or lack thereof. Relationships ultimately determine how these other things in life paint the canvas of our lives.
We all have drama and tragedy in our lives. No one is exempt. So, what do we do with that? Yes. That is the key. What do we do with it? Do sit around and mope and dwell on the negatives? How miserable such a soul is. Or do we let life situations shape us or do we take that crap and allow God to use it to shape and mold us? We each have that choice.
I do not know why I am the optimist that I am. I do know that certain influential people in my life instilled that in me. And I believe it is a gift from God.
So, like, life sucks sometimes. So what. It does for everyone. No one is exempt from drama and heartache and dysfunction.
My dad blew his head off with a shotgun before I was two years old. I never got the chance to know him. However, his father, my paternal grandfather stayed in my life and I had the blessing of his relationship for over 43 years. Now I am the only Larson left from that line.
My mom remarried and I had a roller coaster ride and ultimately estranged relationship with my new father. I call him my father because he is the only one I ever knew and he has become my father. He adopted me and took me as his own. We struggled in later years.
There was a period of many years that I believed that I hated him. I searched for my drea father figure in so many people.
Finally, in my 40's I found my true father in him. God worked in both of our lives and hearts to bring us together. We each had to go through healing on our own before we could see each other in a new light of father/daughter. We reconciled after a long difficult time, and we have been getting re-acquainted since then. Now, I talk to him weekly and there are times when I just need my daddy. And he is there for me. I tell him most everything. We are connected. Who would have thought 30 years ago that this was possible?
So, I never got to be a kid much. And I liked that. I always hung out with the adults. At holiday dinners, I always sat at the adult table, while my siblings and cousins sat at the
" kids" table." And I loved that and felt special. My mom made me her best friend and confident. That seemed to work real well until I was 19.
Then I thought I knew everything about the world and didn't like what I saw in my mom and we grew widely apart. My mom fell off the pedestal I had placed her on. That has been the most difficult relationship struggle in my life. I went from idolizing my mom to the opposite. I saw her marry an abusive alcoholic and divorce and remarry him 4 times. That experience destroyed the poised confident woman who was my mom. And I resented it terribly.
I became more determined to not be like my parents. I struck out on my own path. And I find it ironic that I now tend to turn a little bit back to them in my early memories, and start picking out the good memories and qualities rather than only thinking of the negative. We have had our differences, but they absolutely brought me up with values and teachings which I am thankful for.
I don't have time nor energy to go into details of those years, and you don’t really want to have to read through all that anyway.
Short version: I became a successful radio personality and found a whole new me. I found that shy , reserved me loved the attention of radio life, and the bigger the audience the more I thrived inside.
I got married and struggled through 15 years of marriage. It was a major roller coaster ride of extreme highs and lows. Alcoholism, drug abuse, infidelity, poor communication. Finally, it fell apart when he chose a young blonde coworker over me. I thought my life was over when he walked out that door.
Blah blah blah." Divorcee' struggles through major loss and self esteem issues, starts life over, and all that crap"............... You get the picture. I’m a statistic. Not unique in that experience. There was a lot of drama during those first years after the divorce which I won't waste any more time delving into details. Life was hell, unlike I'd ever known or imagined. And, it passed. I learned , I grew, I developed relationships. Life moved on.
Here I sit 7 years later. It has not been easy. But it has been free-ing, and I'm better off emotionally now than I ever have been.
Finances are a bitch, still, and there are many stresses around that, but the important things that remain and grow and sustain me are relationships.
Let's talk about friends first:
I can't possibly take the time to describe and relive the growth and impact of my friendships. I will say to try to sum up:
I am truly blessed. I was a loner as a kid and teenager. Now I am blessed with many good friends. I have a variety of friendships. Some are deeper than others. “Joan” and I have been very close for 22 years. We’ve seen each other through lots of thick and thin. She has been my mentor, teacher, life coach. “Beth” and I are like sisters, over 10 years. I can truly tell her absolutely anything. She knows my deepest thoughts, my “darkest secrets”, my hopes my dreams better than anyone in my life. I have true friends across this great country with Japanese Chin Rescue. I have met them face to face, been in their homes, shared life’s ups and downs, spent many hours on the phone, and many many hours on email. It's hard to explain depth of those friendships that started online, some which go back as far as 14 years. I just know how much I love those friends.
I have fabulous family relationships. Oh sure, there are some estranged ones, but the good ones more than make up. I have close relationships with 3 aunts and uncles. I have a close relationship with my 102 1/2 yr old Grandma. I was blessed with close relationships with my other grandparents. I was blessed with extra grandparents. 3 grandfathers, 1 step grandfather, and 3 Grandmothers, all of whom I was close to. Each had a significant positive impact on me. Such fond memories.
I have a reconciled, but still a little unsteady, relationship with one sister. ( I am the oldest of 3 girls) . But we are closing in. We have fought worse than cats and dogs since we were toddlers. I am grateful to God for bringing us to this point of being able to talk and start a new relationships. I am close to my sister and nieces in Illinois. It thrills me to have my teenage nieces actually text me or call me just to chat.
And I have relationships at work. I can't go into details. But I will say that over the past year and a half, my job satisfaction has gone from looking for another job to strong satisfaction working with whom I do.
I have a boss who is supportive and understands me. That means the world.
I've had some challenges with difficult employees, and God has seen fit to clear those situations and teach me and protect me in the course of those experiences. He has literally protected me from psycho disgruntled employees that I had to fire.
I've learned so much, had so much support, and developed relationships, and that is what makes life.
It's the relationships we have with people. All aspects of our lives. Some are deep, some are short lived, some are challenging, some are uplifting and supportive, some are roller coaster rides, and some are just plain struggles. But all in all, it's the relationships in our lives and what we do with them that determine our life's meaning and satisfaction. That is my belief.
Our attitude in life and how we allow God to use us for His purpose is the thing that truly matters above all else.
Let's be straight: life is a challenge and we all go through really dark times and drama and roller coaster rides. The world can be a very scary place. It’s the people we encounter and witness that help us determine how we view the world.
Let not your heart be troubled: No matter what happens to you, YOU have the ability to rise above. Look to God. Cling to Him. Have Faith, Hope, Love.
That is what will get you through. Be honest and open with people.
Will it be easy? Absolutely not. An easy life would be boring and unfulfilling.
So, my friends, take hold of and nurture the relationships in your life. Nurture the ones you have, develop new ones, and never let go completely.
Don't hesitate to tell someone you care.
The glass is truly more than half full. Just see it that way. Live your life. Don't just struggle through. Live it.
Happy New Year and blessings to you all.
Ok, so here I sit in a reflective mode. Why we seem to be more reflective at the end of a calendar year, I don't know. Couldn't we just make any date the start of a new year? Funny how we put emphasis on certain dates.
Well, so be it. Everyone tends to approach each New Year with hopes, resolutions, reflections. Usually, it's a few days of such sentiments and then life gets in the way and we fall into our usual patterns. Does that mean we should give up on hopes for the new year? No. Absolutely not. Whether we find ourselves reflecting and thoughtful on Jan. 1 or on some other date in the year does not matter. The fact that we do is what matters.
As I move into another year, like everyone else, I have thoughts, emotions, dreams and goals. I do feel more hopeful going into 2008 than I have in awhile.
Some people can't wait for the new year to start because they've had a crappy year and they just want it to be over, and they want a new start. I've been there many times. Like January 1 is going to just wipe out all the bad and everything starts new. Kind of like how we feel the same way the day after our birthday as the day before.
What about those times when the year was overall good, and yet we feel renewal at a fresh new year? That is where I find myself now and it is a bit surprising to me. And I welcome it.
So many aspects of life to reflect upon. I won't go into all of that. ( Lord knows this will be long enough. ) But, for myself, I would like to put into words some thoughts. Read on if you wish.
Ok, so ya know some people just have crappy luck and drama in their lives. I think that is all in perspective. I think we all have that . Everyone has a dysfunctional family, everyone has drama, everyone has setbacks. It's how we use it, what we do with it that determines our fate and attitude.
One day last year I sat down at my computer and wrote down all the challenges and sad events in my life that I could remember. I did it so I could show what things I could then use to relate to and help other people as they experienced similar issues. It was not a depressing exercise, it was uplifting as I saw how God used each trial to lift me up and bring me to a new point. And as I wrote them, on their face value, they looked like a life of tragedy and depression. But I do not consider my life that. I consider my brief life as a blessing. Miracle and blessings abound. My English teacher used to always tells us that suffering builds character and we hated to hear that because it meant he was about to throw another massive assignment on us. But ya know what, like the apostle Paul, he was right. While I do not welcome suffering, I do recognize that if we use those experiences to learn and grow, then yes, it does build character. Or at least it shows us how to not be so stupid going forward. A life without challenges and where everyone agrees would be very boring and unfulfilling.
Ok, so relationships. That's what life is about. It's not about our jobs, our social status, our wealth or lack thereof. Relationships ultimately determine how these other things in life paint the canvas of our lives.
We all have drama and tragedy in our lives. No one is exempt. So, what do we do with that? Yes. That is the key. What do we do with it? Do sit around and mope and dwell on the negatives? How miserable such a soul is. Or do we let life situations shape us or do we take that crap and allow God to use it to shape and mold us? We each have that choice.
I do not know why I am the optimist that I am. I do know that certain influential people in my life instilled that in me. And I believe it is a gift from God.
So, like, life sucks sometimes. So what. It does for everyone. No one is exempt from drama and heartache and dysfunction.
My dad blew his head off with a shotgun before I was two years old. I never got the chance to know him. However, his father, my paternal grandfather stayed in my life and I had the blessing of his relationship for over 43 years. Now I am the only Larson left from that line.
My mom remarried and I had a roller coaster ride and ultimately estranged relationship with my new father. I call him my father because he is the only one I ever knew and he has become my father. He adopted me and took me as his own. We struggled in later years.
There was a period of many years that I believed that I hated him. I searched for my drea father figure in so many people.
Finally, in my 40's I found my true father in him. God worked in both of our lives and hearts to bring us together. We each had to go through healing on our own before we could see each other in a new light of father/daughter. We reconciled after a long difficult time, and we have been getting re-acquainted since then. Now, I talk to him weekly and there are times when I just need my daddy. And he is there for me. I tell him most everything. We are connected. Who would have thought 30 years ago that this was possible?
So, I never got to be a kid much. And I liked that. I always hung out with the adults. At holiday dinners, I always sat at the adult table, while my siblings and cousins sat at the
" kids" table." And I loved that and felt special. My mom made me her best friend and confident. That seemed to work real well until I was 19.
Then I thought I knew everything about the world and didn't like what I saw in my mom and we grew widely apart. My mom fell off the pedestal I had placed her on. That has been the most difficult relationship struggle in my life. I went from idolizing my mom to the opposite. I saw her marry an abusive alcoholic and divorce and remarry him 4 times. That experience destroyed the poised confident woman who was my mom. And I resented it terribly.
I became more determined to not be like my parents. I struck out on my own path. And I find it ironic that I now tend to turn a little bit back to them in my early memories, and start picking out the good memories and qualities rather than only thinking of the negative. We have had our differences, but they absolutely brought me up with values and teachings which I am thankful for.
I don't have time nor energy to go into details of those years, and you don’t really want to have to read through all that anyway.
Short version: I became a successful radio personality and found a whole new me. I found that shy , reserved me loved the attention of radio life, and the bigger the audience the more I thrived inside.
I got married and struggled through 15 years of marriage. It was a major roller coaster ride of extreme highs and lows. Alcoholism, drug abuse, infidelity, poor communication. Finally, it fell apart when he chose a young blonde coworker over me. I thought my life was over when he walked out that door.
Blah blah blah." Divorcee' struggles through major loss and self esteem issues, starts life over, and all that crap"............... You get the picture. I’m a statistic. Not unique in that experience. There was a lot of drama during those first years after the divorce which I won't waste any more time delving into details. Life was hell, unlike I'd ever known or imagined. And, it passed. I learned , I grew, I developed relationships. Life moved on.
Here I sit 7 years later. It has not been easy. But it has been free-ing, and I'm better off emotionally now than I ever have been.
Finances are a bitch, still, and there are many stresses around that, but the important things that remain and grow and sustain me are relationships.
Let's talk about friends first:
I can't possibly take the time to describe and relive the growth and impact of my friendships. I will say to try to sum up:
I am truly blessed. I was a loner as a kid and teenager. Now I am blessed with many good friends. I have a variety of friendships. Some are deeper than others. “Joan” and I have been very close for 22 years. We’ve seen each other through lots of thick and thin. She has been my mentor, teacher, life coach. “Beth” and I are like sisters, over 10 years. I can truly tell her absolutely anything. She knows my deepest thoughts, my “darkest secrets”, my hopes my dreams better than anyone in my life. I have true friends across this great country with Japanese Chin Rescue. I have met them face to face, been in their homes, shared life’s ups and downs, spent many hours on the phone, and many many hours on email. It's hard to explain depth of those friendships that started online, some which go back as far as 14 years. I just know how much I love those friends.
I have fabulous family relationships. Oh sure, there are some estranged ones, but the good ones more than make up. I have close relationships with 3 aunts and uncles. I have a close relationship with my 102 1/2 yr old Grandma. I was blessed with close relationships with my other grandparents. I was blessed with extra grandparents. 3 grandfathers, 1 step grandfather, and 3 Grandmothers, all of whom I was close to. Each had a significant positive impact on me. Such fond memories.
I have a reconciled, but still a little unsteady, relationship with one sister. ( I am the oldest of 3 girls) . But we are closing in. We have fought worse than cats and dogs since we were toddlers. I am grateful to God for bringing us to this point of being able to talk and start a new relationships. I am close to my sister and nieces in Illinois. It thrills me to have my teenage nieces actually text me or call me just to chat.
And I have relationships at work. I can't go into details. But I will say that over the past year and a half, my job satisfaction has gone from looking for another job to strong satisfaction working with whom I do.
I have a boss who is supportive and understands me. That means the world.
I've had some challenges with difficult employees, and God has seen fit to clear those situations and teach me and protect me in the course of those experiences. He has literally protected me from psycho disgruntled employees that I had to fire.
I've learned so much, had so much support, and developed relationships, and that is what makes life.
It's the relationships we have with people. All aspects of our lives. Some are deep, some are short lived, some are challenging, some are uplifting and supportive, some are roller coaster rides, and some are just plain struggles. But all in all, it's the relationships in our lives and what we do with them that determine our life's meaning and satisfaction. That is my belief.
Our attitude in life and how we allow God to use us for His purpose is the thing that truly matters above all else.
Let's be straight: life is a challenge and we all go through really dark times and drama and roller coaster rides. The world can be a very scary place. It’s the people we encounter and witness that help us determine how we view the world.
Let not your heart be troubled: No matter what happens to you, YOU have the ability to rise above. Look to God. Cling to Him. Have Faith, Hope, Love.
That is what will get you through. Be honest and open with people.
Will it be easy? Absolutely not. An easy life would be boring and unfulfilling.
So, my friends, take hold of and nurture the relationships in your life. Nurture the ones you have, develop new ones, and never let go completely.
Don't hesitate to tell someone you care.
The glass is truly more than half full. Just see it that way. Live your life. Don't just struggle through. Live it.
Happy New Year and blessings to you all.
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